Icha Icha Romance
by Senko-Chan
Summary: Jiraiya's new book is causing a bit of a stir. JiraiyaTsunade


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters in it.

**Icha Icha Romance**

Tsunade strode purposefully through the hall that lead to her office, her blonde pigtails trailing and her heels clicking. Her expression was neutral, but she was really more than a little annoyed. This was made evident when she closed her office door a little too roughly and pulled the door off the hinges. She glared angrily at the offending door and then barked at a nearby chuunin to fix it. She sat in her chair and then proceeded to rummage through her drawers for the bottle of sake she usually kept on hand. Finding it, she pulled it out and took a couple long sips.

When she stopped to take a breath, her mind couldn't resist going back to the original problem. She leaned her chair back and rested her slender legs on the desk. What the hell was that old pervert thinking?

It had started several days ago, with the release of the newest of the Icha Icha series. Tsunade didn't read Jiraiya's smutty books, and she had never planned to, even though the books were very popular. Usually when a new one was published, it would be the talk of the more openly perverse shinobi. But this time, people who were talking about it hushed up when she walked by. She would like to think it was due to them respecting her position and authority, but the mischievous and curious glances that people were sending her way made her think otherwise. Earlier today she had gotten fed up and finally asked her assistant if she knew anything.

"Oi, Shizune," Tsunade had glanced at the younger woman. The jounin glanced up from the report she was reading.

"Yes Hokage-sama?" Shizune looked attentive, but a little cautious. 'Oi, Shizune' was usually followed by a request for more booze or orders to go do some annoying task the Hokage couldn't be bothered with.

The blonde sannin leaned forward slightly and watched Shizune's face closely. "What do you know about Icha Icha Romance." The jounin hid her emotions quickly, but not quickly enough. Tsunade had caught the flicker of anxiety cross the other kunoichi's face. She knew something.

Shizune smiled at Tsunade, "Hokage-sama, you know I don't read those kinds of things."

Tsunade resisted the urge to tap her foot in impatience. "I know you don't, but what have you heard from others."

Shizune tried not to squirm under the other woman's unwavering gaze. When she answered she was careful to keep her voice neutral.

"Apparently it's a bit different from Jiraiya-sama's usual work. There's not as much... intercourse."

Tsunade's eyebrows raised in surprise. Jiraiya writing something besides meaningless smut? The world must be ending.

"Well, if it's not just porn what's it about?"

Shizune utilized all her shinobi skills as she lied to the Hokage. "Honestly I don't know," she said evenly, "I haven't heard anything else."

Tsunade gave an annoyed sigh. Well if no one would tell her, she would just have to find out for herself.

So several hours later, after all her top priority duties were completed for the day, Tsunade quickly headed over to the bookstore. Right before she reached it though, she ducked into an alley and cast a handy illusion over herself. Couldn't let the citizens of Konoha think she read Jiraiya's work.

So disguised as a handsome young man, Tsunade entered the bookshop and began to peruse the shelves. It wasn't long until she found it; Jiraiya's work was in a prominent location, no doubt so his loyal followers could quickly find the newest edition of his work.

Tsunade grabbed the closest copy of Icha Icha Romance and headed to the cash register. The clerk smiled knowingly.

"Jiraiya's work is quite popular," he said conversationally, "Especially among young men."

"It certainly is," Tsunade agreed before taking her purchase and heading out the door.

When Tsunade arrived at her house (the Hokage couldn't live in an apartment, it was part of the rules), she made herself comfortable on the couch with the book and a bottle of booze. Time to see what all the fuss was about.

To her own surprise she found herself quickly engrossed in the novel. Who knew Jiraiya could actually write? It was about a young ninja team as they dealt with war and growing up. At first she thought it was a team Jiraiya had just invented, but as the story progressed, Tsunade realized this wasn't any old story; this was their story. The story of her team through Jiraiya's eyes. Tsunade took a large gulp of sake. How could he write something so personal. Most people would realize that this wasn't just fiction.

But she kept reading, curious to see what would happen. Actually more than just curious. She felt she needed to read that was in so many ways dear to her. She sniggered as she read about Jiraiya's crush on her. She remembered that. It had been right before she had started going out with Dan. But she felt a twinge of guilt as she continued to read. She had rejected him rather harshly. She smiled bitterly when she read of his genuine remorse at Dan's death.

But when the story turned to Orochimaru's betrayal, she couldn't stop the pain she felt. Reading about Jiraiya's guilt, his hurt, his loss when Orochimaru left revived the feelings in herself. Nothing hurt like a teammate's betrayal.

The following years were after she had also left. She had often wondered what her old teammate was up to. She had always just assumed he was up to his own perverted games. And for the most part she was right. Jiraiya was often peeping and writing his dirty novels. But he had also been watching over the village in his own way, subtly keeping track of enemies to the leaf.

Finally Tsunade reached the last chapter. The team came together once more, except this time it was in battle. Tsunade read along as she remembered their most recent meeting with their wayward teammate.

It wasn't until she reached the last paragraph that her breath stopped.

_The mighty ninja looked as his beautiful comrade as she took command of the village that was so precious to both of them. Seeing her there, looking as though she had finally come to grip with her own losses reminded him so sharply of what he had never really forgotten. He loved her. He loved her now even more deeply than he had when they had just been children, all those years ago. He would always love her, even if she never saw him as more than a friend. She would always be his only love._

Tsunade swore and then reread the passage. What the hell was he thinking? Putting that in a book for everyone to see. Was he serious? She glanced at the clock. Two in the morning, too late to pay a visit to most people, but this was Jiraiya and he didn't count as most people.

She rushed out the door and jumped with cat-like grace onto the roof. She quickly ran to where she knew Jiraiya was.

When she finally got there she simply jumped through the open window into his living room. To her surprise he was awake on the couch, sipping a bottle of sake.

"I was wondering when you'd stop by," he said, his tone bored.

Tsunade didn't waste time on niceties. "What the hell's up with your book?"

"In terms of?"

The room began to shake as her foot began to tap furiously. "You know damn well what I'm talking about."

He took another slow sip of alcohol before answering. "I assume you mean the final part where the protagonist realizes his undying love for his teammate."

Tsunade's foot froze and she looked at Jiraiya expectantly. When he wasn't forthcoming with any information she pushed again.

"Some people would say there is a similarity between the team in your book and our team," she commented nonchalantly.

"There's a slight resemblance," he agreed.

"Their teammate's betrayal, the death of her lover, the war, they're all very similar. Even the protagonist's crush on his teammate."

The last comment made Jiraiya freeze. "It was never a crush," he said in a low voice, his eyes looking straight into hers. "It was never just a crush."

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"Yes," there was no joke, no hint of laughter in his confession. His eyes were serious in a way she had never seen before.

"For how long?"

"Since the day we met."

Tsunade stood silently, unsure of herself for the first time in a long time. Unsure of where she was heading. But the uncertainty lasted only a second and was replaced by a calm feeling of_ right._

Jiraiya didn't look up as she approached. But he had no choice when she forced his head up with a single finger. She didn't hesitate before pressing her lips firmly on his. He didn't respond.

After a moment she pulled back. "Now what the hell's the matter?"

"Why are you doing this?" the bored look hadn't left his eyes.

She didn't really have an answer.

"Is it pity? Nostalgia? Or am I just the only one left?"

"Because I want to."

Jiraiya gave her another long look, but when she kissed him again, he kissed back.

For some illogical reason she expected him to kiss like a boy, but his kiss was full of experience she knew he had. When he pulled her onto his lap, she didn't give any resistance, instead choosing to grind into his crotch.

And when he finally gestured that they move to the bedroom, she practically pulled him there.

The next morning, Jiraiya watched as she dressed.

"You can't stay?" he asked.

She snorted. "Somehow I don't think cuddling would be considered a good reason for the Hokage to show up late." She smirked, "Even though the look on Shizune's face would be priceless."

She looks at the emotionless expression on Jiraiya's face. She walks over and pecks him on the cheek. "I'll be back later."

Finally there's a smile on his face.

"You can come back later," he says, "But if there's a bra on the door, don't come in." He gives her his most lecherous look, "Unless you're into that kind of thing." He barely catches book that is hurled at his head.

Tsunade walks slowly to her office. She doesn't know if she can give Jiraiya all that he wants, all that he deserves really. But taking happiness when one can is one of the most important shinobi rules. And if this is her one last shot at happiness, then she's taking it for all its worth.

XXX

Ahaha, this was kinda corny. But oh well, I kinda like it. And I'm too lazy to make it better.


End file.
